While I love the holidays and spending time with friends and family, I find my total hours of sleep definitely takes a hit. When I was single and child-free, not a problem! Just sleep in the next day or on the weekend. Now? Ha! Sleeping in? What a joke.
While we had SK's parents and grandma visiting, little AMK was in our room with us again. Since her sleep schedule is not quite settled yet, she is still waking up at least twice a night. Once at 1 a.m., and again at 5 or 6 a.m. Normally, I would have her cry it out, but since she's in our room and the dear hubs needs his sleep to do surgery on patients' eyeballs, I was getting up to rock or feed her to sleep. Painful!
Unfortunately, even though AMK has been back in her own room for 4 days now, she is still adhering to this schedule. I'm finding it's really hard to let her just cry it out. Even SK urges me to go to her and comfort her. I'll try to stay strong tonight. Gulp.
And now I hear AMK waking up from a too-short afternoon nap. So much for a catnap of my own!
Monday, December 14, 2009
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Thanksgiving? Already?
Where has the time flown? I've surmised that having two kids makes the minutes, hours, days, weeks go by much, much faster. I can't believe I am in the midst of planning a Thanksgiving meal. Ack! I am not ready for the holidays.
This year, I am thankful for many, many things. Friends -- new & old! A cozy little family to call our own. A warm house in rainy Portland. Financially stability. A loving husband and caring father to my two daughters. Material comforts. Good health. Two adorable daughters that are so precious that I want to spoil them rotten (my husband thinks I already do).
Here's some pics from this past fall...
This year, I am thankful for many, many things. Friends -- new & old! A cozy little family to call our own. A warm house in rainy Portland. Financially stability. A loving husband and caring father to my two daughters. Material comforts. Good health. Two adorable daughters that are so precious that I want to spoil them rotten (my husband thinks I already do).
Here's some pics from this past fall...
Sunday, October 25, 2009
The Joy of Potty Training
We have been potty-training ESK lately. It's been a slow and annoying process, but we are finally seeing some progress. She rarely has a soiled diaper anymore and maybe next week we'll try some real big-girl underpants on her... In the meantime, she is quite proud of herself when she poops in the potty. She always checks out what she's left behind and will describe what it looks like. "It looks like...
- a hot dog! (understandable)
- daddy & ESK! (big piece & little piece)
- a monkey! (???)
- ELMO! (???)
We tell her that once she consistently poops and pees in the potty, she will become a real princess. Did I tell you she's on a really big princess kick these days?
- a hot dog! (understandable)
- daddy & ESK! (big piece & little piece)
- a monkey! (???)
- ELMO! (???)
We tell her that once she consistently poops and pees in the potty, she will become a real princess. Did I tell you she's on a really big princess kick these days?
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Bad Mommy & Fall Traditions
ESK has been attending pre-pre-school for two half-days a week since the beginning of September. She goes from 9 a.m. to 1 p.m. Every time I pick her up after school, she is happy and tuckered out. Meanwhile, I get to run errands with just one child instead of two. It's a win-win.
Today, I knew I was going to be running late (thanks to a snafu with a bicycle pump at REI... long story) so I called and let the school know. I got there at 1:11 p.m. and there wasn't a soul in the parking lot. Gulp.
Sure enough, ESK was the last kiddo there and was being led out by the director. And ESK was in tears. She must have thought I had forgotten about her. I felt terrible. The director told me she tried to calm herself down (so proud of her!), but wouldn't let the director near her to comfort her.
To make up for it, we went to the closest grocery store and got some ice cream and a balloon. I let her hold the cone all by herself and make a mess eating it. Her tears were quickly forgotten.
Nevertheless, I will never be late again.
Solo @ the Pumpkin Patch
We've been having some gorgeous fall weather here in Portland -- perfectly blue skies, chilly, crisp air, and glorious warm sun! We took advantage of the autumn day and went to the pumpkin patch.
It took forever to get out of the house and by the time we got to the farm, it was almost lunch time. ESK was already cranky because she was hungry, and I knew it was only a matter of time before she got tired. So, we rushed through lunch of hot dogs and veggie booty (not the most nutritious) and I wrangled her over to the hayride area. On the bumpy hayride, ESK was already starting to get delirious and forgot to use her inside voice in all her excitement. The family next to us didn't approve and I noticed they sat far away from us on the ride back, even though ESK and their little boy were getting along famously.
At the actual pumpkin patch, ESK ran around for a bit before picking a pumpkin. All of a sudden, she bent over and started looking uncomfortable. Of course, she is having a really big poop. And now that it is out, she wanted me to change her. But I can see the hayride tractor starting to loop back and I didn't want to miss our ride, so I told her to be patient. That didn't go over well. Extreme whiny-ness ensues.
There were no major mishaps, but I don't think I'll ever go to a pumpkin patch by myself again. Here are some photos of the day:
Running to pick a pumpkin
Found one!
Starting to get delirious...
I'm tired and have poop in my pants.
Today, I knew I was going to be running late (thanks to a snafu with a bicycle pump at REI... long story) so I called and let the school know. I got there at 1:11 p.m. and there wasn't a soul in the parking lot. Gulp.
Sure enough, ESK was the last kiddo there and was being led out by the director. And ESK was in tears. She must have thought I had forgotten about her. I felt terrible. The director told me she tried to calm herself down (so proud of her!), but wouldn't let the director near her to comfort her.
To make up for it, we went to the closest grocery store and got some ice cream and a balloon. I let her hold the cone all by herself and make a mess eating it. Her tears were quickly forgotten.
Nevertheless, I will never be late again.
Solo @ the Pumpkin Patch
We've been having some gorgeous fall weather here in Portland -- perfectly blue skies, chilly, crisp air, and glorious warm sun! We took advantage of the autumn day and went to the pumpkin patch.
It took forever to get out of the house and by the time we got to the farm, it was almost lunch time. ESK was already cranky because she was hungry, and I knew it was only a matter of time before she got tired. So, we rushed through lunch of hot dogs and veggie booty (not the most nutritious) and I wrangled her over to the hayride area. On the bumpy hayride, ESK was already starting to get delirious and forgot to use her inside voice in all her excitement. The family next to us didn't approve and I noticed they sat far away from us on the ride back, even though ESK and their little boy were getting along famously.
At the actual pumpkin patch, ESK ran around for a bit before picking a pumpkin. All of a sudden, she bent over and started looking uncomfortable. Of course, she is having a really big poop. And now that it is out, she wanted me to change her. But I can see the hayride tractor starting to loop back and I didn't want to miss our ride, so I told her to be patient. That didn't go over well. Extreme whiny-ness ensues.
There were no major mishaps, but I don't think I'll ever go to a pumpkin patch by myself again. Here are some photos of the day:
Running to pick a pumpkin
Found one!
Starting to get delirious...
I'm tired and have poop in my pants.
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Sleep & Lack Thereof
My sleep is all messed up these day. We are trying to sleep train AMK and she either goes to bed late and wakes up late, or she goes down early and wakes up in the middle of the night. And then of course ESK wakes up anytime between 7 and 8 in the morning... I find that by the afternoon, if I sit down to breastfeed AMK, I'll inevitably fall asleep with her in my arms.
Of course with sleep deprivation comes grouchiness. Lately, I fear I take it out on my family. Poor hubs gets snippy comments from me about the smallest infractions. ESK's two-year-old whininess gets a fierce tongue-lashing. This morning, I invited her to play with my costume/junk jewelry in bed with me and of course, she broke a necklace. I should have expected it, even though I had warned her to be gentle.
Pre-morning coffee me totally lost it. I yelled that she needed to start listening to mom & dad as well as her teachers. Otherwise, we weren't going to take her to school or any of her other activities anymore. As I was yelling, I saw her lips press together and the corners turn down into a frown. Her eyes widened. I realized she was about to cry and I stopped myself.
It's not like I even liked or wore the necklace anymore -- $5 piece of junk I got at one of those tables in SoHo. Sometimes it's hard to stop myself and put things in perspective. Really, I was letting my blood boil over a helpless 2-year-old and a string of beads that was worthless even before it broke.
I've also been feeling guilty about the negligible amount of quality time I've been spending with ESK. Most days it's all I can do to just keep her occupied and out from underfoot! But really, I know she would be so much better off if I actually played with her. Even if it means cutting those darn vegetables for the 10th time. Or emptying and filling up her purse AGAIN. Or chatting with her about her baby doll. (By the way, lately she's been saying a string of Spanish words over and over again: "Gracias! De nada! Buenos noches!" Too much Dora.)
It doesn't help that lately, I've been feeling like my work is never done. When the dinner dishes are done and all I want to do is relax, I realize there's still things I could clean up, clothes that could be folded, emails that I should write... the list goes on and on...
Do you think getting more sleep will help my situation? I hope so. Because the other night, I was tucking in ESK to sleep and was reminded of how precious she was. I don't even remember the conversation, but I just remember my heart was so filled with love. Kids are just full of unadulterated joy and happiness. It was just one of those moments. I don't want to be grouchy mom anymore... I heart ESK.
Of course with sleep deprivation comes grouchiness. Lately, I fear I take it out on my family. Poor hubs gets snippy comments from me about the smallest infractions. ESK's two-year-old whininess gets a fierce tongue-lashing. This morning, I invited her to play with my costume/junk jewelry in bed with me and of course, she broke a necklace. I should have expected it, even though I had warned her to be gentle.
Pre-morning coffee me totally lost it. I yelled that she needed to start listening to mom & dad as well as her teachers. Otherwise, we weren't going to take her to school or any of her other activities anymore. As I was yelling, I saw her lips press together and the corners turn down into a frown. Her eyes widened. I realized she was about to cry and I stopped myself.
It's not like I even liked or wore the necklace anymore -- $5 piece of junk I got at one of those tables in SoHo. Sometimes it's hard to stop myself and put things in perspective. Really, I was letting my blood boil over a helpless 2-year-old and a string of beads that was worthless even before it broke.
I've also been feeling guilty about the negligible amount of quality time I've been spending with ESK. Most days it's all I can do to just keep her occupied and out from underfoot! But really, I know she would be so much better off if I actually played with her. Even if it means cutting those darn vegetables for the 10th time. Or emptying and filling up her purse AGAIN. Or chatting with her about her baby doll. (By the way, lately she's been saying a string of Spanish words over and over again: "Gracias! De nada! Buenos noches!" Too much Dora.)
It doesn't help that lately, I've been feeling like my work is never done. When the dinner dishes are done and all I want to do is relax, I realize there's still things I could clean up, clothes that could be folded, emails that I should write... the list goes on and on...
Do you think getting more sleep will help my situation? I hope so. Because the other night, I was tucking in ESK to sleep and was reminded of how precious she was. I don't even remember the conversation, but I just remember my heart was so filled with love. Kids are just full of unadulterated joy and happiness. It was just one of those moments. I don't want to be grouchy mom anymore... I heart ESK.
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Firsts & Full Plate
First....
Day of school -- tired out ESK.
Raisins -- a.k.a. "grapes and sunshine!", gave her the runs and a mean diaper rash.
Soccer class -- made mommy more tired than ESK.
The past two weeks have been full of new experiences for ESK. School has been great for her. On her first day, she joined her classmates without a glance back at me (I lingered around for five minutes just in case), but was exhausted and happy to see me when I picked her up four hours later.
So far it's been good for her AND for me. She enunciates a bit more when she speaks. She's learned about new things, like bumblebees. And she's even expanded her culinary horizons. All of a sudden she is interested in eating sandwiches. And one of her classmates must have introduced her to raisins...
As for me, I enjoy running errands with quiet little AMK or just stealing a few peaceful gurgly moments with her at home. It's great.
Full Plate
Fall has always been the start of exciting new things. And this year, it's no different for me. I'm not going back to school, but I have committed myself to a lot of social and volunteer activities. For the first time in my married life, I feel like I have my own life. I feel back to my old self in some ways. Of course, without the night life and borderline reckless shopping habit. But it feels good to stretch myself a bit and reach out to others.
When I slept for 12 straight hours this past Friday evening, I woke up on Saturday and wondered if perhaps I had piled too much onto my plate. I think though that it's just tough settling into a new schedule and I hope my endurance will build up as the fall progresses.
Day of school -- tired out ESK.
Raisins -- a.k.a. "grapes and sunshine!", gave her the runs and a mean diaper rash.
Soccer class -- made mommy more tired than ESK.
The past two weeks have been full of new experiences for ESK. School has been great for her. On her first day, she joined her classmates without a glance back at me (I lingered around for five minutes just in case), but was exhausted and happy to see me when I picked her up four hours later.
So far it's been good for her AND for me. She enunciates a bit more when she speaks. She's learned about new things, like bumblebees. And she's even expanded her culinary horizons. All of a sudden she is interested in eating sandwiches. And one of her classmates must have introduced her to raisins...
As for me, I enjoy running errands with quiet little AMK or just stealing a few peaceful gurgly moments with her at home. It's great.
Full Plate
Fall has always been the start of exciting new things. And this year, it's no different for me. I'm not going back to school, but I have committed myself to a lot of social and volunteer activities. For the first time in my married life, I feel like I have my own life. I feel back to my old self in some ways. Of course, without the night life and borderline reckless shopping habit. But it feels good to stretch myself a bit and reach out to others.
When I slept for 12 straight hours this past Friday evening, I woke up on Saturday and wondered if perhaps I had piled too much onto my plate. I think though that it's just tough settling into a new schedule and I hope my endurance will build up as the fall progresses.
Monday, August 17, 2009
Emerald City
We love going to Seattle to get a taste of the big city without having to make a big trip. In retrospect, we were overly ambitious in what we could accomplish with two kiddos. But I now know we can all sleep in one hotel room, so long as we discard any notion of sleep schedules. ESK took naps in the car and slept after 10 p.m. both nights we were in Seattle. Yes, dad had to carry her from time to time and there were definitely some grumps and bumps, but overall, the trip was a success. I'd like to go up there to visit someday without kids in tow. But I have a feeling that won't be for a looong loooong while....
Some pics:
Ferry boat ride to Bainbridge Island
It was windy on the boat!
Family at Safeco Field, Mariners v. Yankees
ESK liked the popcorn better than her new hat.
Delirious and catching SportsCenter post-game highlights w/ Dad
Dim Sum w/ Zachary @ New Hong Kong
Some pics:
Ferry boat ride to Bainbridge Island
It was windy on the boat!
Family at Safeco Field, Mariners v. Yankees
ESK liked the popcorn better than her new hat.
Delirious and catching SportsCenter post-game highlights w/ Dad 
Dim Sum w/ Zachary @ New Hong Kong
Thursday, August 13, 2009
ESK Glossary
Crown = Headband
Daddy's Kitchen = Outdoor Grill
Mommy's Bagel = Boppy nursing pillow
Dipping = Ketchup
SOS
In other news... I left AMK with the hubs last night to attend a brief evening meeting. An hour and a half later, I get a text message on my phone: "S.O.S." I show my fellow board members the text message and leave the meeting early to a shower of laughter.
Apparently, the usually placid AMK has decided she is hungry, but does not like the bottle anymore. Serious crying ensues. Meanwhile, ESK is her usual whirling dervish self and leaving behind a path a destruction in her wake.
As I walk in the door to the sounds of infant wailing, SK says, "Don't ever leave me and make me a single father!"
As soon as AMK sees me (or smells me), she stops crying.
Poor dad.
Daddy's Kitchen = Outdoor Grill
Mommy's Bagel = Boppy nursing pillow
Dipping = Ketchup
SOS
In other news... I left AMK with the hubs last night to attend a brief evening meeting. An hour and a half later, I get a text message on my phone: "S.O.S." I show my fellow board members the text message and leave the meeting early to a shower of laughter.
Apparently, the usually placid AMK has decided she is hungry, but does not like the bottle anymore. Serious crying ensues. Meanwhile, ESK is her usual whirling dervish self and leaving behind a path a destruction in her wake.
As I walk in the door to the sounds of infant wailing, SK says, "Don't ever leave me and make me a single father!"
As soon as AMK sees me (or smells me), she stops crying.
Poor dad.
Sunday, August 9, 2009
So Far...
Life with two? So far, so good... This summer has really blown by. August already? AMK is now sleeping up to 6 hours per night and has really been packing on the poundage. She now weighs in over 13 pounds, nearly double her birth weight. Quite the little chunker! This pleases me to no end since ESK was such a skinny little thing most of her short life.
ESK on the other hand has been getting long and lean. Her arms are little sticks. Tan little sticks. Seems no matter how much sunscreen I slather on, she tans. We've been working on her potty training lately. It's a work in progress. We've gotten her all kinds of potty equipment, potty literature, bribes, etc. So far, she has memorized all three of her potty books, accepted all bribes, but still doesn't like sitting on the potty. We know she understands the concept. We're starting to think she just likes playing mind games with us.
ESK has come a long way when it comes to conversation. Here are a few snippets.
Daddy: Which way is better -- Daddy's way or your way?
ESK: MY WAY!
ESK (to grandma on phone): Hi Grandma! Thanks for all the Dora stuff!
(ESK did indeed recently receive a whole lot of Dora paraphernalia from grandma)
We're working on getting her to "ask nicely" and saying thank you. But most of the time, her requests are whiny. Really drives me crazy.
Otherwise, I've been feeling pretty blessed. Despite sleepless nights, enjoying the summer days and our precious little family. Looking forward to a weekend trip to Seattle (big city!) next weekend...
ESK on the other hand has been getting long and lean. Her arms are little sticks. Tan little sticks. Seems no matter how much sunscreen I slather on, she tans. We've been working on her potty training lately. It's a work in progress. We've gotten her all kinds of potty equipment, potty literature, bribes, etc. So far, she has memorized all three of her potty books, accepted all bribes, but still doesn't like sitting on the potty. We know she understands the concept. We're starting to think she just likes playing mind games with us.
ESK has come a long way when it comes to conversation. Here are a few snippets.
Daddy: Which way is better -- Daddy's way or your way?
ESK: MY WAY!
ESK (to grandma on phone): Hi Grandma! Thanks for all the Dora stuff!
(ESK did indeed recently receive a whole lot of Dora paraphernalia from grandma)
We're working on getting her to "ask nicely" and saying thank you. But most of the time, her requests are whiny. Really drives me crazy.
Otherwise, I've been feeling pretty blessed. Despite sleepless nights, enjoying the summer days and our precious little family. Looking forward to a weekend trip to Seattle (big city!) next weekend...
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Life with Two
So, life with two isn't as bad as I thought it would be. Generally, I don't get out as much, but I have still managed to get most of my errands done. Unfortunately, I don't always get everything I want done in a day. And certainly, my appearance has gone a bit downhill since the new baby has arrived. But all of these things were expected.I think that is in part the difference. I don't have high expectations of myself of what I might accomplish in a day. If I get the kids fed and ESK outside, occupied and safe, I consider the day a success. Of course, having the experience helps. I find baby A's cries don't get under my skin as much as with ESK. I'm calmer in general, and I'm sure baby AMK picks up on that vibe. So far, AMK has been a pretty chill baby. Whew! It also helps that ESK seems to be growing up a bit and understands more and more of what I'm trying to say. Double whew!
Not to say that it's all been smooth sailing. I'm sleep-deprived of course. And sometimes that puts me in a pretty crabby mood. It also means that I'm incredibly forgetful. Sigh. Must remember to keep my expectations low...
Growing Up
My ESK is growing up so fast... These days she answers our questions with a very decisive, "Yes" or "No". Sometimes she asks for things in full sentences, i.e. "Can you open the window please?" or "Is it ready yet?" She's fearless at the neighborhood playground and makes friends easily. She can put on her shoes by herself and prefers skirts to pants now. Yesterday, she made a phone out of PlayDough and pretended to have a conversation on it.
I was worried about ESK when the new baby arrived. In fact, I had a good cry about it the first night back from the hospital. She seemed to really be acting out and I felt so bad for her. All of a sudden, she was being neglected in little ways... It didn't help that she had a fever which we didn't detect for a half day. Poor thing.
But I find (as many other mom's with multiples have probably found) that ESK still gets the bulk of my attention and energy. At any given moment, I'm chasing ESK around, catering to her needs, or disciplining her. If anything it's little AMK I should feel sorry for...
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Happy Meal Picnic
We've been having some terrific weather in Portland. Traditionally, it doesn't start getting really nice (mid-70's, sun, blue skies, no humidity) until after July 4th, but we got a large slice of summer this past week. This means our little family has been out and about in the sun as much as possible, making up for the dreary rainy days of winter/spring. ESK has been loving it.
On Friday, I spontaneously took ESK for a lunch picnic at our neighborhood park after her swim class. I was in a rush to get back home before her nap time, so I went to the nearest fast food chain and picked up a drive-through meal -- chicken nuggets, fries and drinks for both of us.
When I got to the park, of course, I wasn't the only mom to think it was a perfect day for a picnic. There were at least four other groups there eating lunch. The only difference was that everyone else had brought healthy homemade snacks. Nutritious veggies, cut-up fruit and sandwiches. The golden arches printed on the paper sacks I carried felt like the modern-day mom equivalent of a big, red "A" stitched on my chest. At least, that's how it is here in Portland.
I felt a pang of guilt and looked around surreptitiously for sidelong glances or whispering from the other moms. But after awhile I forgot about it. Not even my self-consciousness could take away from the simple pleasure of picnicking on a beautiful day. ESK loved her nuggets and fries. And then it was on to the swings and jungle gym. Life is good when you're two years old. Life is good taking care of a happy two-year-old.
Still Pregnant
I'm done being pregnant. Practically speaking, we really don't want the baby to arrive until my mom flies in on the 20th. It would really just makes logistics a lot easier for SK and I. However, I'm not sure how much longer my body can take this pregnancy!
There is no room left in my belly and when the baby shifts around, it is sometimes painful. I get tired pretty easily. My fingertips are numb on my right hand. I snore in my sleep now and sometimes I wake myself up with my own snoring (this totally grosses me out by the way)! And my feet are so swollen that they no longer fit into my clogs! Thank goodness for flip-flops and warm weather. I have cankles and my legs are elephantine.
Oh, and every time I show up the slightest bit late or don't return calls, people have been telling me, "Ha ha ha! There you are! I thought you might have gone into labor or something! We thought for sure you were on your way to the hospital!" If only....
I'm in the home stretch, I know. Just getting a bit impatient...
On Friday, I spontaneously took ESK for a lunch picnic at our neighborhood park after her swim class. I was in a rush to get back home before her nap time, so I went to the nearest fast food chain and picked up a drive-through meal -- chicken nuggets, fries and drinks for both of us.
When I got to the park, of course, I wasn't the only mom to think it was a perfect day for a picnic. There were at least four other groups there eating lunch. The only difference was that everyone else had brought healthy homemade snacks. Nutritious veggies, cut-up fruit and sandwiches. The golden arches printed on the paper sacks I carried felt like the modern-day mom equivalent of a big, red "A" stitched on my chest. At least, that's how it is here in Portland.
I felt a pang of guilt and looked around surreptitiously for sidelong glances or whispering from the other moms. But after awhile I forgot about it. Not even my self-consciousness could take away from the simple pleasure of picnicking on a beautiful day. ESK loved her nuggets and fries. And then it was on to the swings and jungle gym. Life is good when you're two years old. Life is good taking care of a happy two-year-old.
Still Pregnant
I'm done being pregnant. Practically speaking, we really don't want the baby to arrive until my mom flies in on the 20th. It would really just makes logistics a lot easier for SK and I. However, I'm not sure how much longer my body can take this pregnancy!
There is no room left in my belly and when the baby shifts around, it is sometimes painful. I get tired pretty easily. My fingertips are numb on my right hand. I snore in my sleep now and sometimes I wake myself up with my own snoring (this totally grosses me out by the way)! And my feet are so swollen that they no longer fit into my clogs! Thank goodness for flip-flops and warm weather. I have cankles and my legs are elephantine.
Oh, and every time I show up the slightest bit late or don't return calls, people have been telling me, "Ha ha ha! There you are! I thought you might have gone into labor or something! We thought for sure you were on your way to the hospital!" If only....
I'm in the home stretch, I know. Just getting a bit impatient...
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Unprepared
My OB told me I should have my bags packed and logistics figured out for delivery day when I went to my weekly appointment two days ago. Even though I am nearly 37 weeks along and should have been expecting new like this, for some reason, hearing that made me feel very unprepared. At the time, I did not have my overnight bag packed and did not have a lot of baby things in place.
How unprepared was I? No outfits for baby, no set emergency plan for ESK, and a sparse baby name list (only one boy name!). Mentally, neither SK or I are ready for this baby either. Somehow, I felt more prepared when ESK was born, probably because I was taking classes and obsessively reviewing our baby literature every night.
SK and I have since added to our baby name lists (boy & girl names). My bag is packed. But what to do with ESK is still up in the air since it will really depend on what time of day I go into labor. We have contacted almost everyone we know here in Portland as back-up care for ESK. But hopefully, this baby will not arrive until my dear mother gets here on the 20th. Please please please...
Anywhoo, I was having problems sleeping with the baby moving around in increasingly cramped quarters and frequent middle-of-the-night pee-pee runs. But now, I find myself sleeping even less since I'm feeling anxious and all of a sudden scared again about heading into labor and delivery. I'm freaking out a bit!
In the midst of this all, poor ESK has no idea how much her world is about to change. Despite her terrible two's, she is really a joy in my life and I get emotional thinking about how much I love her. She is especially happy when both her mom and dad are around since she is the apple of both of our eyes. But soon this will change. We've tried to prepare her with the concept of being a "big sister", but I know she doesn't fully grasp the coming changes. Poor thing.
How unprepared was I? No outfits for baby, no set emergency plan for ESK, and a sparse baby name list (only one boy name!). Mentally, neither SK or I are ready for this baby either. Somehow, I felt more prepared when ESK was born, probably because I was taking classes and obsessively reviewing our baby literature every night.
SK and I have since added to our baby name lists (boy & girl names). My bag is packed. But what to do with ESK is still up in the air since it will really depend on what time of day I go into labor. We have contacted almost everyone we know here in Portland as back-up care for ESK. But hopefully, this baby will not arrive until my dear mother gets here on the 20th. Please please please...
Anywhoo, I was having problems sleeping with the baby moving around in increasingly cramped quarters and frequent middle-of-the-night pee-pee runs. But now, I find myself sleeping even less since I'm feeling anxious and all of a sudden scared again about heading into labor and delivery. I'm freaking out a bit!
In the midst of this all, poor ESK has no idea how much her world is about to change. Despite her terrible two's, she is really a joy in my life and I get emotional thinking about how much I love her. She is especially happy when both her mom and dad are around since she is the apple of both of our eyes. But soon this will change. We've tried to prepare her with the concept of being a "big sister", but I know she doesn't fully grasp the coming changes. Poor thing.
Saturday, April 18, 2009
"How 'bout this one?"
ESK is quickly leaving baby-dom and becoming a little girl. It's sad to see the cherubic chubbiness melting off her body, but it's also so much fun watching her absorb everything around her. Lately, her favorite phrase when she wants something is: "How about...." When she doesn't know the name of what she wants, she'll point and call it "this one".
Other things we've noticed about little girl ESK:
- she has a very long attention span and can really focus on tasks/things; also means she's incredibly stubborn
- man-hands; the rest of her body is getting leaner, but her hands are disproportionately large
- laid-back and affectionate; she'll hug and kiss just about anyone on command
- loves rain gear; if given the option, will wear boots, raincoat and carry a "brella" everyday of the week; a true Pacific NW girl...
Modeling Debut
These pictures are actually from a photo shoot ESK did with a company called gDiapers, a Portland-based flushable diaper. It is the first and most likely also the last time ESK will model.
I am not some kind of pushy stage mother type and, no, this is not the first step toward entering her into those creepy toddler pageants. We were approached by a gDiaper employee who happens to be in a music class ESK goes to about being in the photo shoot. I know one of the reasons why she even asked us was because they were looking for people of color and as I've mentioned before, color is hard to come by in Portland.
ESK actually had a lot of fun at the photo shoot because she got to play in a big, wide, open space in nothing but a diaper. What can I say, the girl likes to run around in her skivvies. But despite her ease on the shoot, I could see how a child could easily tire of the endless prodding. Everyone there was super nice, but I think we were lucky that ESK was cooperative and I could see how things could get a little uncomfortable and pushy if she had been otherwise.
So, no more modeling gigs for out little girl. For our time and effort, we opted for free gDiapers (for the baby to come) instead of the cash. Plus, we have these great, professional, high-quality pics that we plan on blowing up and framing. If you happen to see gDiapers at your local natural grocery store (most likely at Whole Foods) this summer, look out for ESK on the packaging!
ESK is quickly leaving baby-dom and becoming a little girl. It's sad to see the cherubic chubbiness melting off her body, but it's also so much fun watching her absorb everything around her. Lately, her favorite phrase when she wants something is: "How about...." When she doesn't know the name of what she wants, she'll point and call it "this one".
Other things we've noticed about little girl ESK:
- she has a very long attention span and can really focus on tasks/things; also means she's incredibly stubborn
- man-hands; the rest of her body is getting leaner, but her hands are disproportionately large
- laid-back and affectionate; she'll hug and kiss just about anyone on command
- loves rain gear; if given the option, will wear boots, raincoat and carry a "brella" everyday of the week; a true Pacific NW girl...
Modeling Debut
These pictures are actually from a photo shoot ESK did with a company called gDiapers, a Portland-based flushable diaper. It is the first and most likely also the last time ESK will model.
I am not some kind of pushy stage mother type and, no, this is not the first step toward entering her into those creepy toddler pageants. We were approached by a gDiaper employee who happens to be in a music class ESK goes to about being in the photo shoot. I know one of the reasons why she even asked us was because they were looking for people of color and as I've mentioned before, color is hard to come by in Portland.
ESK actually had a lot of fun at the photo shoot because she got to play in a big, wide, open space in nothing but a diaper. What can I say, the girl likes to run around in her skivvies. But despite her ease on the shoot, I could see how a child could easily tire of the endless prodding. Everyone there was super nice, but I think we were lucky that ESK was cooperative and I could see how things could get a little uncomfortable and pushy if she had been otherwise.
So, no more modeling gigs for out little girl. For our time and effort, we opted for free gDiapers (for the baby to come) instead of the cash. Plus, we have these great, professional, high-quality pics that we plan on blowing up and framing. If you happen to see gDiapers at your local natural grocery store (most likely at Whole Foods) this summer, look out for ESK on the packaging!
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Sausage Digits & Rat Tails
I am about 32-33 weeks now and am feeling very pregnant. As of this weekend, I had to stop wearing my wedding rings because my fingers are swollen and are starting to resemble meaty little sausages (the breakfast link variety). I'm kinda sad about that. I am trying to drink more water over the course of the day, which is supposed to help. I suppose people will think that I'm a single pregnant mom. Oh well.
Besides that, I am feeling a bit frustrated about my role as mom and wife these days. Yesterday I hit a breaking point when I found out I would have to cancel a hair appointment I had been looking forward to for weeks. The problem is really two-fold: 1) finding a Portland stylist who knows how to cut Asian hair, and 2) working around hubs and ESK's schedule.
It's been awhile since I got my haircut (although nothing like Yellowinter's 1.5 years!) and my hair is starting to look like something out of a bad Whitesnake video or something -- shaggy and series of rat tails at the ends. Living in one of the whitest cities in the country means that it has been hard to find a stylist who has much experience with Asian clients. My last two experiences here in Portland have been lackluster to say the least.
I tell myself it doesn't really matter since I always wear my hair in a ponytail anyway. But every now and then, it would be nice to wear it down. My frustration is compounded by the fact that I don't really like how I look these days -- swollen and waddling. Yeah yeah yeah... pregnant women glow, they're cute, etc. etc..... Also, I know when baby #2 arrives, scheduling issues aren't going to get any better. These scheduling problems made me realize just how much my life revolves around taking care of my daughter and husband and how my priorities can easily get lost in that mix.
Just feeling sorry for myself I guess. Someone stop me from getting sucked into this spiraling vortex of self-pity! Ack!
Besides that, I am feeling a bit frustrated about my role as mom and wife these days. Yesterday I hit a breaking point when I found out I would have to cancel a hair appointment I had been looking forward to for weeks. The problem is really two-fold: 1) finding a Portland stylist who knows how to cut Asian hair, and 2) working around hubs and ESK's schedule.
It's been awhile since I got my haircut (although nothing like Yellowinter's 1.5 years!) and my hair is starting to look like something out of a bad Whitesnake video or something -- shaggy and series of rat tails at the ends. Living in one of the whitest cities in the country means that it has been hard to find a stylist who has much experience with Asian clients. My last two experiences here in Portland have been lackluster to say the least.
I tell myself it doesn't really matter since I always wear my hair in a ponytail anyway. But every now and then, it would be nice to wear it down. My frustration is compounded by the fact that I don't really like how I look these days -- swollen and waddling. Yeah yeah yeah... pregnant women glow, they're cute, etc. etc..... Also, I know when baby #2 arrives, scheduling issues aren't going to get any better.
Just feeling sorry for myself I guess. Someone stop me from getting sucked into this spiraling vortex of self-pity! Ack!
Monday, March 23, 2009
Pregnant & Sick
Was anyone sick when they were pregnant? ESK keeps bringing home colds from her various playdates and activities and passing them to SK and myself. The latest sickness left me dizzy and nearly incapacitated this past weekend.
I was feeling pretty sorry for my bloated and sick self this weekend, and I'm afraid SK heard a lot of groaning and moaning. He was very supportive of course. All I wanted to do was to knock myself out with some drugs and go to bed. Alas.... not allowed!
I mostly feel sorry for little ESK who can't even properly communicate how she's feeling besides whining and crying. On the bright side, she has learned to blow her nose, which I'm sure brings some relief to her clogged sinuses. Unfortunately, she blows her nose straight into her hands, no tissue, and without any warning. Then smears all over face. It's been a messy week to say the least....
I was feeling pretty sorry for my bloated and sick self this weekend, and I'm afraid SK heard a lot of groaning and moaning. He was very supportive of course. All I wanted to do was to knock myself out with some drugs and go to bed. Alas.... not allowed!
I mostly feel sorry for little ESK who can't even properly communicate how she's feeling besides whining and crying. On the bright side, she has learned to blow her nose, which I'm sure brings some relief to her clogged sinuses. Unfortunately, she blows her nose straight into her hands, no tissue, and without any warning. Then smears all over face. It's been a messy week to say the least....
Friday, March 13, 2009
Home Alone
I'm home alone this weekend with ESK while SK is on a retreat. I've flown solo before when ESK was much younger, but for some reason, I'm sadder this time. Perhaps it's the pregnancy hormones and heightened emotions.
As March slips by, I'm somehow numbed by bad news I read in the paper or see on TV, but still struck by the steady flow of bad news I hear from friends and acquaintances. I called a girlfriend two days ago to wish her a happy birthday and instead of a cheery & light conversation, we were nearly in tears by the end of the phone call. We both wondered aloud, "Is this what it means to be an adult?" Greater responsibilities, more vulnerabilities... more gained, more lost?
I sometimes think back to just a few years ago when I was single and childless and remember how carefree and adventurous (and admittedly irresponsible) I was. Perhaps it's because my life changed so much, so quickly -- new home, new husband, new baby -- but I still feel a loss of self, although less and less so as the months go by. I catch myself telling wistful stories to new friends that start much like this: "When I was in New York.... [sigh]"
Some of this attitude stems from self-hatred, a remnant of my career-driven, demanding former self who never thought she would give up a career for family. I'm happy as a SAHM in the suburbs, but that great chasm between my former self and my current situation causes angst and friction from time to time.
I don't know how I ended up blogging about this. Totally unintentional. This is what happens when I'm home alone....
As March slips by, I'm somehow numbed by bad news I read in the paper or see on TV, but still struck by the steady flow of bad news I hear from friends and acquaintances. I called a girlfriend two days ago to wish her a happy birthday and instead of a cheery & light conversation, we were nearly in tears by the end of the phone call. We both wondered aloud, "Is this what it means to be an adult?" Greater responsibilities, more vulnerabilities... more gained, more lost?
I sometimes think back to just a few years ago when I was single and childless and remember how carefree and adventurous (and admittedly irresponsible) I was. Perhaps it's because my life changed so much, so quickly -- new home, new husband, new baby -- but I still feel a loss of self, although less and less so as the months go by. I catch myself telling wistful stories to new friends that start much like this: "When I was in New York.... [sigh]"
Some of this attitude stems from self-hatred, a remnant of my career-driven, demanding former self who never thought she would give up a career for family. I'm happy as a SAHM in the suburbs, but that great chasm between my former self and my current situation causes angst and friction from time to time.
I don't know how I ended up blogging about this. Totally unintentional. This is what happens when I'm home alone....
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
No Good News
Have you noticed there hasn't been much good stuff happening in the world? Reading the paper, watching the news, and even some of the personal news that I've been hearing has all been bad.
Most of it is the economy of course. But on top of all the news I absorb, a lot of people I talk to think the country is going to hell in a hand basket. People are down. Mind you, I don't see the world through rose-colored lenses, but I try to keep a positive light on things. But lately, it's been tough.
I know I'm incredibly blessed with a good marriage, great kid, another on the way, stable source of income, loving friends and family. So maybe I should just shut up and consider myself lucky... But I'd like to hear some GOOD news for once. Anyone got some?
Most of it is the economy of course. But on top of all the news I absorb, a lot of people I talk to think the country is going to hell in a hand basket. People are down. Mind you, I don't see the world through rose-colored lenses, but I try to keep a positive light on things. But lately, it's been tough.
I know I'm incredibly blessed with a good marriage, great kid, another on the way, stable source of income, loving friends and family. So maybe I should just shut up and consider myself lucky... But I'd like to hear some GOOD news for once. Anyone got some?
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Naptime Noises
ESK is supposed to be napping right now. But as usual, she's playing in her crib instead.
A sampling of things I hear coming from her room:
"Come on! Come on!"
"Oh man!"
"Ready, set, GOOOO!"
"1, 2, 3, 7...."
I wish I had a video monitor to check out what's going on in there. It sounds like so much fun!
A sampling of things I hear coming from her room:
"Come on! Come on!"
"Oh man!"
"Ready, set, GOOOO!"
"1, 2, 3, 7...."
I wish I had a video monitor to check out what's going on in there. It sounds like so much fun!
Friday, January 30, 2009
2 Years Old
My little ESK is growing up so fast. I recently looked back at ESK's infant pictures and couldn't believe how little she was.
At 2 years of age, my ESK is into:
- Anything "Dora"
- Drinking out of cup
- Her tricycle
- Her miniature stroller
- Eating cantaloupe
- Pointing out rude bodily functions ("burp" & "tootie")
I'm looking forward to the challenges and joys ahead. She sure has changed my life for the better....
At 2 years of age, my ESK is into:
- Anything "Dora"
- Drinking out of cup
- Her tricycle
- Her miniature stroller
- Eating cantaloupe
- Pointing out rude bodily functions ("burp" & "tootie")
I'm looking forward to the challenges and joys ahead. She sure has changed my life for the better....
Monday, January 26, 2009
We Love Julie
Since we're far away from family and friends, we've had a hard time finding a babysitter for the occasional nights when SK and I want to go out. After a weird incident with a previous sitter, we signed up for a sitter service that is a bit on the expensive side. The service does extensive background checks for us and provides experienced caretakers. After a few months of meeting a wide variety of sitters, we have finally found one that we LOVE and ESK feels pretty comfortable with. YAY!
Julie is a full-time nanny who is working extra hours to save up for a workspace for her striving-artist husband. When we come back home, ESK has been put to sleep, dishes are cleaned and toys are tidied. She also leaves a long written summary of the night's events, i.e. "ESK thought it was hilarious when I made her stuffed pig dance." SK and I feel comfortable leaving the house and have no problems forking over the money because we know it's going toward a great goal AND a great caregiver. I feel so blessed.
Spiritual Gifts
After attending a church here in Portland for the past year and a half, we are finally becoming official members. (We tried attending a class last year, but couldn't finish the classes because of scheduling problems.) It is a very large church (1100 regular attendees?) which was very disconcerting at first, but since getting plugged into a small group less than a year ago, we've really grown to love our church community.
So, at the membership class, the pastoral staff shared with us their spiritual gifts, i.e. leadership, faith, mercy, administration. They asked us to think about our spiritual gifts and as part of our homework we were assigned the Wagner-Modified Houts Questionnaire, aimed at discovering our spiritual gifts. You respond to 125 statements on a 0-3 scale (0=not at all; 3=much) tally up your scores and bam: your spiritual gifts. It's kinda like a holy version of those YM surveys I used to love as a teenager. Some examples:
"People have told me that I have helped them learn biblical truth in a meaningful way."
"I have verbally encouraged the wavering, the troubled or the discouraged."
"Sometimes when a person speaks in tongues, I get an idea about what God is saying."
"I enjoy being called up to do special jobs around the church."
"I am single and enjoy it."
My gifts (drum roll please): Exhortation (gift of counseling, comforting, encouraging), Hospitality (providing an open house and welcome), Administration, and Service.
Things that I scored low on: Prophecy, Tongues, Voluntary Poverty, Celibacy and Exorcism
I have to say, I knew I wasn't given the gifts of Voluntary Poverty or Celibacy. HA! Without taking the questionnaire, what do you think your gifts are?
Julie is a full-time nanny who is working extra hours to save up for a workspace for her striving-artist husband. When we come back home, ESK has been put to sleep, dishes are cleaned and toys are tidied. She also leaves a long written summary of the night's events, i.e. "ESK thought it was hilarious when I made her stuffed pig dance." SK and I feel comfortable leaving the house and have no problems forking over the money because we know it's going toward a great goal AND a great caregiver. I feel so blessed.
Spiritual Gifts
After attending a church here in Portland for the past year and a half, we are finally becoming official members. (We tried attending a class last year, but couldn't finish the classes because of scheduling problems.) It is a very large church (1100 regular attendees?) which was very disconcerting at first, but since getting plugged into a small group less than a year ago, we've really grown to love our church community.
So, at the membership class, the pastoral staff shared with us their spiritual gifts, i.e. leadership, faith, mercy, administration. They asked us to think about our spiritual gifts and as part of our homework we were assigned the Wagner-Modified Houts Questionnaire, aimed at discovering our spiritual gifts. You respond to 125 statements on a 0-3 scale (0=not at all; 3=much) tally up your scores and bam: your spiritual gifts. It's kinda like a holy version of those YM surveys I used to love as a teenager. Some examples:
"People have told me that I have helped them learn biblical truth in a meaningful way."
"I have verbally encouraged the wavering, the troubled or the discouraged."
"Sometimes when a person speaks in tongues, I get an idea about what God is saying."
"I enjoy being called up to do special jobs around the church."
"I am single and enjoy it."
My gifts (drum roll please): Exhortation (gift of counseling, comforting, encouraging), Hospitality (providing an open house and welcome), Administration, and Service.
Things that I scored low on: Prophecy, Tongues, Voluntary Poverty, Celibacy and Exorcism
I have to say, I knew I wasn't given the gifts of Voluntary Poverty or Celibacy. HA! Without taking the questionnaire, what do you think your gifts are?
Monday, January 12, 2009
Holiday Pics
2 Cousins Cheek to Cheek
A Bath of Her Own
Cozy Times with Halmi
Christmas Morning Frenzy
Sittin' Pretty in Front of TreeThursday, January 8, 2009
Poopy Potty Time!
Yes, it is toilet training time in our household. ESK so far has successfully done #1 and #2 in the potty a handful of times. The goal is to have her trained by the time baby Numero Dos comes around. So far, lots of praise and rewards of watching Super Why! (her fave show on PBS) seem to be working. ESK will do just about anything to watch Super Why! and dangling an episode as a reward has come in very handy during very difficult situations.
Also, speaking of all things in the nether regions.... Did I ever mention that Portland is kind of a kooky city? Apparently, Saturday afternoon is "Pants Off!" day on the public transit here in Portland. I doubt this event is something actually supported by mass transit authorities here, but it is the 8th annual, so whoever is organizing has had some past success! Needless to say, we will not be taking any kind of public transit on Saturday afternoon...
Also, speaking of all things in the nether regions.... Did I ever mention that Portland is kind of a kooky city? Apparently, Saturday afternoon is "Pants Off!" day on the public transit here in Portland. I doubt this event is something actually supported by mass transit authorities here, but it is the 8th annual, so whoever is organizing has had some past success! Needless to say, we will not be taking any kind of public transit on Saturday afternoon...
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Post-Christmas Void
I was going to post some pics of our Christmas in Philly, but blogger is acting weird. So that will have to wait.
Christmas in Philly was a whirlwind as usual. Satisfying the grandparents' insatiable appetite for time with ESK as well as doing all the things on my list while back in my hometown is darn near impossible. So, for those I didn't get to see while I was back.... Sorry! Again! Next year? I know, I stink.
Is it me or does the time between Thanksgiving and Christmas just fly? This year was especially hectic for us since a lot of our energy the week before Christmas was spent navigating the icy and snowy Portland roads. Apparently, we got out of Portland in the nick of time as a snowstorm hit the day after we left and folks were stranded in the airport for three days! And then another major snowstorm hit on Christmas Eve. They say this is the worst stretch of winter weather Portland has seen in 30 years.
Now that we're back to (thankfully, snowless) Portland, things are eerily quiet. I felt like I ramped up for the two holidays and now there's a void. No people to see, no shopping to do, no church-related activities....
Not that I'm complaining. Now that I'm finally done unpacking all our luggage, including the two extra suitcases of Christmas presents, I'm finally getting around to long-term projects like my honeymoon scrapbook (fyi: married in June 2006) and organizing our mail/cellphone-charging area in the kitchen.
One of my biggest resolutions for the new year? Budgeting! So despite all the post-holiday sales, all we've done so far is some window-gawking and online browsing. Sigh.
However, I did come across this site: Little Seouls. Lately, ESK has been a sponge with her vocabulary and to capitalize on her growing brain, I've been looking around for items to teach ESK the Korean alphabet and Korean words. Check it out.
Christmas in Philly was a whirlwind as usual. Satisfying the grandparents' insatiable appetite for time with ESK as well as doing all the things on my list while back in my hometown is darn near impossible. So, for those I didn't get to see while I was back.... Sorry! Again! Next year? I know, I stink.
Is it me or does the time between Thanksgiving and Christmas just fly? This year was especially hectic for us since a lot of our energy the week before Christmas was spent navigating the icy and snowy Portland roads. Apparently, we got out of Portland in the nick of time as a snowstorm hit the day after we left and folks were stranded in the airport for three days! And then another major snowstorm hit on Christmas Eve. They say this is the worst stretch of winter weather Portland has seen in 30 years.
Now that we're back to (thankfully, snowless) Portland, things are eerily quiet. I felt like I ramped up for the two holidays and now there's a void. No people to see, no shopping to do, no church-related activities....
Not that I'm complaining. Now that I'm finally done unpacking all our luggage, including the two extra suitcases of Christmas presents, I'm finally getting around to long-term projects like my honeymoon scrapbook (fyi: married in June 2006) and organizing our mail/cellphone-charging area in the kitchen.
One of my biggest resolutions for the new year? Budgeting! So despite all the post-holiday sales, all we've done so far is some window-gawking and online browsing. Sigh.
However, I did come across this site: Little Seouls. Lately, ESK has been a sponge with her vocabulary and to capitalize on her growing brain, I've been looking around for items to teach ESK the Korean alphabet and Korean words. Check it out.
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