My OB told me I should have my bags packed and logistics figured out for delivery day when I went to my weekly appointment two days ago. Even though I am nearly 37 weeks along and should have been expecting new like this, for some reason, hearing that made me feel very unprepared. At the time, I did not have my overnight bag packed and did not have a lot of baby things in place.
How unprepared was I? No outfits for baby, no set emergency plan for ESK, and a sparse baby name list (only one boy name!). Mentally, neither SK or I are ready for this baby either. Somehow, I felt more prepared when ESK was born, probably because I was taking classes and obsessively reviewing our baby literature every night.
SK and I have since added to our baby name lists (boy & girl names). My bag is packed. But what to do with ESK is still up in the air since it will really depend on what time of day I go into labor. We have contacted almost everyone we know here in Portland as back-up care for ESK. But hopefully, this baby will not arrive until my dear mother gets here on the 20th. Please please please...
Anywhoo, I was having problems sleeping with the baby moving around in increasingly cramped quarters and frequent middle-of-the-night pee-pee runs. But now, I find myself sleeping even less since I'm feeling anxious and all of a sudden scared again about heading into labor and delivery. I'm freaking out a bit!
In the midst of this all, poor ESK has no idea how much her world is about to change. Despite her terrible two's, she is really a joy in my life and I get emotional thinking about how much I love her. She is especially happy when both her mom and dad are around since she is the apple of both of our eyes. But soon this will change. We've tried to prepare her with the concept of being a "big sister", but I know she doesn't fully grasp the coming changes. Poor thing.
2 comments:
I will pray that this little one stays put until mom comes. I got all teary reading esp the latter half, since I have been feeling similar heartache lately... I still have a looong ways to go, but can appreciate your anxiety a bit. I actually stayed up last night thinking about the logistics of N's care. I will definitely be praying for you and your whole family.
i had similar feelings right before A was born. poor #1 won't get as much attention... but they really still do get a whole lot of attention. after the baby is born, you'll feel more sorry for #2 (or "what's his name")
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