Late Night Thoughts

I haven't posted in ages and am having one of those nights where the baby just won't sit still. So, here goes a late night ramble...

I'm 8 months along and ready to have baby #3. In the physical sense that is. I am ready to be unencumbered by this pregnancy! It is really tiring chasing after two little ones with a full belly and I really am feeling round and awkward these days. The other day I fell down the stairs trying to get out the door, with AMK in my arms. It was a painful and scary moment, lying at the bottom of the stairs on my back, wondering if I had broken something or if I had harmed the baby in my belly. Luckily, AMK barely even noticed she had taken a tumble and was quietly playing next to me while I gingerly took a systems check of my body. Just a sprained ankle, nothing more. And what is one to do to prevent incidents like these? Stop taking the stairs? Stop carrying my child around?

Anyway, emotionally of course, I feel totally unprepared for baby #3's arrival. I'm still trying to figure out the logistics of the coming summer (to hire help? what kind of help? how many days? how many hours per day? summer camps? ack!) and feeling a bit overwhelmed by preparations that still need to be made for the baby's arrival. We have transitioned the girls into the same room and luckily they are sleeping together peacefully at night with minimal shenanigans. I need to find infant clothes and various baby supplies. Not to mention come up with some baby girl names!

And of course, I have chosen now to doubt whether or not I wanted to be a mother at all. You know those thoughts of, "What has become of me? Am I really supposed to be a mom?" Those feelings are running through me strongly these days.

Enough negative thoughts. Here are some sunnier memories from our trip to Hawaii....

Poolside sunchips and sunglasses

Swimming Star

ESK loved this slide

Appallingly, I have very few pictures from the past few months. Mission for the next month before baby arrives: take more pictures! AMK is really at a fun age, talking a ton and starting to pretend play. Today, I watched her set up a tea party and pretend to pour and drink. And ESK is loving her new school now and seems to really be picking up some French. Tonight at dinner, between spoonfuls of mac n' cheese, she declared, "Fromage!" Lol. She can drive me crazy sometimes, but she also knows how to make me laugh!